- Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake.
- If someone offers to buy you a drink, do not upgrade.
- Persons drinking a pint of Guinness before it has fully settled will be immediately barred.
- Anyone on stage or behind the bar is 50% better looking.
- Telling lies is unacceptable, you may however grossly exaggerate.
- If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.
- If you hesitate more than three seconds after getting the barman's attention, you do not deserve a drink.
- If you buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you.
- If you buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still may not like you.
- Girls hang out, apply make-up and have long talks in the bathroom. Men do not.
Now, go forth and be good citizens of your local pub. Happy weekend!
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